It used to be a real problem. I’d be driving around using one hand to steer and one hand to keep my cell phone pressed up to my ear. It just made everything so difficult!

But all that’s changed now thanks to this Cyber Acoustics Earclip Headset! With its amplified noise canceling microphone, people can hear me loud and clear, and I don’t have to hold the phone for the whole conversation. And boy, is it great having that hand free! Now, I can finally use it to:

do simple mathematical computations! practice my new finger-snapping routine for the company talent show! regularly adjust the volume nob when I’m listening to poorly-recorded live bootlegs! point at things and announce what they are – like “this is a car stereo,” or “this is the steering wheel” – in order to actively avoid losing my memory! knock on the dashboard for effect while telling knock-knock jokes to whoever’s in the passenger seat, thus enhancing his or her listening experience!

I mean, I can do anything. I can even use it on the steering wheel along with the other hand if I wanted to… NOT! I’m not some loser who uses two whole hands to drive. Jeez, that’s so silly!